Boy, Oh Boy

Yikes, I really should write here more often.  I have good intentions, but it often feels like a bit of a chore to write down what's going on in life, especially when it's a difficult situation.

At 16 weeks, I broke down and ordered a fetal doppler online.  I struggled with this decision, and my husband wasn't exactly on board with the idea.  He was worried I would get one and not be able to find baby's heartbeat, and end up in emergency because I was freaking out.  And I agreed with him, but my anxiety has been out of control and I just felt I needed SOMETHING to help put my mind at ease.  Well, it's been such a blessing.  I'll usually use it once a day, and it helps to just know that at least at that moment, baby is ok.

Our 18 week ultrasound brought on more severe anxiety.  I was convinced that surely they would find something wrong with our baby.  I mean, there are a million different things that could go wrong...but our BABY BOY was healthy and fine.  My placenta was found to be low lying, but not considered to be placenta previa.  It was also noted that I had a marginal cord insertion which is when the cord inserts into the side of the placenta as opposed to the middle.  Dr. Google says this happens in approximately 10% of pregnancies, but of course it still concerned me.  I was NOT shocked to have confirmed that we were having another boy.  I had told anyone who asked prior to the ultrasound that I was 99.9% sure it was a boy.  It's difficult to explain.  I felt similar to when I was pregnant with Harris, as opposed to Rowan, but I just KNEW.  I won't lie, I always loved the idea of having two girls.  The idea of sisters thrilled me.  Knowing this little one is a boy brought mixed emotions.  Like I felt that we would actually now be living out everything we missed out on with Harris.  It's tough to wrap your head around sometimes.  Yet as the weeks go by and I form a bond with this little boy I am getting more and more excited about what it will be like to have a son.  Shopping for boy clothes and replacing the pink with the blue has been fun also.  A little retail therapy can make anything a little brighter!